Reviewers Who Laughed

Notable Quotes from A Perfect Finish

Who Laughs at Death?

Reviewers who laughed? There really were so many great beta readers who helped me while writing this book. Every reader had a different favorite character and chapter which another reader would suggest erasing. Akiko was polarizing—she earned the most favorite and least liked votes. A lot of people voted for killing Harold and saving the Ranger. Many reviewers volunteered their own feelings on the issue of assistance-in-dying. Some prescribed jail time. For me?

The following are extracts from some of those reviewers who seemed to really laugh, which mostly was my intent.

Fiverr Beta Reader J. Flowers @alvenecus Laughed

General Impressions

I think you’ve written quite the story here, one which I had a ton of fun reading through and really enjoyed. What strikes out to me most—in addition to the wonderful eccentric cast—is the tone you’ve struck in telling a story about dying with dignity: while melancholic and emotionally weighted, it’s not depressing at all; while filled with dark humor and levity, it’s not disrespectful at all. I would even say that the story felt uplifting and respectful in its treatment of death, and I think a large part of this comes down to how the cast is glued together by the desire to honor the wishes of Alamea and, for Steve in a spiritual-successor sense, Emily. In America especially, the right for one to choose their own death and manner of dying is a controversial topic, and I think you approach it with grace and nuance while showcasing the flawed perception we have on the topic; for example, the lengths to which the Ranger went to “avenge” his mother and the frustration felt when Steve is sued by Emily’s ex for simply being there as she passed away. I think it contributes to the unfairness of the black-and-white purview parts of America hold about dying with dignity. In contrast to this is the possible immorality of such a deed explored by the ambiguity of Eddie and Harold pushing clients out of the plane rather than giving them the choice, and I appreciate the message here about such a topic being layered in shades of moral gray. I really appreciated the First Nations influences throughout the story, and the humor was on point from beginning to end.

Characters

The cast is nothing short of wonderful, compelling, memorable, and incredible. Every single character was filled to the brim with personality and entertainment value. By page 46, I knew I was in for an entertaining and fun read, solely based on the characters presented thus far. Tying a cast this diverse together with the common goal of honoring Alamea’s wishes offers an emotional depth to their dysfunction which allows them to feel that much more grounded and realistic. They’re all charmers, weirdos, pieces of work, and eccentric busybodies, and they’re all passionate people. Steve’s introduction is great; I immediately cared about him as a character and found him compelling, and I absolutely love the gag of him remaining out of the loop with everything going on throughout the entire story. The amount of close calls he escaped by being a good person and saying the right things is a lot of fun, especially with each subsequent instance he learns about. His fastidiousness about Emily’s rose garden and his love of the Yukon are such endearing traits that really entrenched my care for him as a character, and I was glad to see him survive the story unscathed and with more friends. John and Clyde have such a fun dynamic as well, and I love how you represented them as foils who “really do like each other,” despite their incongruities on paper. Meriwa’s a fantastic character, one who’s strong, nuanced, and dynamic. Akiko’s probably my favorite of the entire bunch, and her banter with Steve constantly had me smiling and chuckling.

Themes

In terms of matches, there existed a surprisingly large number of compatible combinations.
What are the rules for kicking the grim reaper in the balls? The same as for shooting a charging bear: don’t miss.
The Fatalist is not riding to meet destiny, he’s riding despite destiny.
“Happiness is a choice, Steve.”

My Favorite Quotes

This exacerbates suffering further, as science prolongs lives without adequately addressing the challenges of aging.
By broadening the public discourse and raising awareness, we will provide a unique and memorable experience for those Americans who freely choose a dignified and painless end to their lives.
What kind of jackass speeds up when he sees a fellow-motorcyclist waving him down on a deserted highway?
Somehow he blended both losses–the death of his wife and this woman, their last acts of bravery, their fearless smiles–into a tapestry of grief.
No man ever steps in the same river twice, especially not with different passengers.
Imagine if he met my grandmother and she introduced him to her pregnant pause? He’d probably say it wasn’t his.
Imagine becoming an attorney–investing one’s entire life in the pursuit of dissecting ratshit, so you could dictate what’s what to mere humans.
“Don’t worry, we really do like each other,” John said in a monotone as he rolled his eyes.
Oddly enough, the gift had not fixed this otherwise perfect marriage.
“We’re looking for a sad, sorry Humpty Dumpty before she falls off the wall, because once she falls, she’ll go straight to the ICU and be hooked up to machines and institutionalized.”
“She talked a lot about trash and tried to sell me life insurance.”
“Her roses aren’t going to matter, once you end up in prison.”
While being launched from a motorcycle at 70 MPH wouldn’t necessarily result in a crushed skull, it could definitely leave a Mark.
Lying and improv were a bad combination, especially with a mouthful of elk.
How am I allowing this Klondike-flavored mini-dom ride me like a wheel?
“Time flows like a river, bearing the spirits of those who have lived on this earth. Each drop of water in the river represents a soul, destined to be forgotten in the depths of the Bering Sea. Most lives fade into obscurity, etching not even a trace in the annals of history. How many souls are remembered two hundred years after their passing? In the end, what remains of any of us? A mere drop on this earth, and this earth itself? A trifling speck in the dustpan of the galaxy. Yet here we stand tonight, you and I, on this speck, observing the majestic spectacle of the mighty Yukon River ushering an eternity of souls to the Bering Sea.”
At the time, it seemed like the lesser of two evils to leave them there so that he could meet Rachel. In retrospect, it seemed completely absurd to hang a gun and bag of money in a tree by the side of the road.
Go to hell. Go straight to hell. Do not cross Chilkoot Pass. Do not collect two hundred thousand dollars.
For fifty thousand dollars, it seemed like at least he should get a pen out of the deal.
He had no intention of ever freezing his ass off at a fucking Klondike Sourdough Rendezvous.
“So, let me be perfectly clear about this. My loyalties lie first with my people and if you want to win our support, you’re going to have to prove you feel the same.”
He said, ‘Tell Steve thanks a lot.’ He says if you hadn’t crawled out of the woodwork at the last second, he’d be on a beach in Bermuda instead of doing pro bono work for MAID murders.”
He is pure unfiltered Id.
Maybe if I just clipped the guard rail lightly, I could distract him without killing him.
I wonder if there could be a reward for turning him in somewhere.
“Thank you, Steve. Have you been going to the gym? It doesn’t show yet, but don’t give up.”
“So, tell you what I’m going to do Space Case, tonight I’m stealing a fork from the hotel restaurant. The next time you forget your phone, I’m going to stab you with it.”
She’s using urban warfare tactics–lob a grenade, wait for the explosion, advance quickly.
“It’s true. We told each other everything . . . everything except good-bye.”
“No, I try to avoid saying anything funny around John.”
“Because what we’re doing is insane,” Angi said with a grin. “Think about it, Steve. Who among us would not log in to see the hottest, most successful, rich bitch from their high school prepare to drop out of a plane.”
“No Han, unprofessional is losing your fucking phone every day and turning me into your little telephone bitch. You’re lucky someone snatched the fork out of my desk drawer.”
“Your blue balls say go, and your head says no.”
“Why would the main course be jealous of the appetizer, right?”
“If Simon and I thought your uptight Jabberwocky ass would have been interested in betting, we could have cut you in on the action.”
“I told him the CEO of Whitehorse Flights, Harold Pelly, was in a meeting right now and to call back later.”
“Steve drops a mangled one-liner and gets more out of you in five minutes than I get doing thirty years of standup,” quipped Clyde.
Angi was beaming endearingly, like a . . . well, you know.
“It’s time for you to discover new meaning—get yourself ready, so you can get back to doing the things you’re actually good at, like teaching English, volunteering at the planetarium, and once you’ve got your head on straight, loving another damsel in distress.”
“You tell me, space case, how would you feel, being all old and shit and having Eddie show up one day as your designated caregiver? Nightmare, right?”
“Forget about the planet, Moonpie. It’s not in peril. Earth has already experienced five mass extinctions. Humans will fry with the fucking baboons, but the planet will keep orbiting the sun long after we’re gone. Eddie is dead, humanity is doomed, and I’m done.”
Akiko hugged him back . . . and squeezed his ass.
Harold could have been a diplomat if he were just forty-two percent more reasonable.
Damn, I’m going to miss those taunts from outer space.
On that day, four people who had loved her watched Alamea’s ashes join those of her parents as the sun set on the Big Sur.

Fiverr Beta Reader Robert Welbourn @welbournrobert Laughed

General Impressions

Wow, what a book! It’s safe to say I’ve never read anything like it, not even close. My main overall thought is that you’ve handled an incredibly difficult, controversial topic incredibly well. The book is sympathetic yet pragmatic, sad yet practical, and even darkly funny in a lot of places. You’re brave to have chosen to have written on such a controversial topic, so kudos to you for that. And kudos to you for pulling it off!

When I say funny, I do genuinely mean there were a lot of times I laughed out loud. Some examples are:

In chapter 3: “What type of attorney? I don’t know. The type that does law, I suppose.”
Chapter 22: “Meriwa is worried Harold might get a one-star review for dropping grannies out of his airplane.”
Chapter 23: “Maybe if I just clipped the guard rail lightly, I could distract him without killing him.”
Chapter 43: “to a man with a skydiving plane, everyone looks like a skydiving customer.”

I could go on, there were so many bits that made me laugh. Which I think is incredibly important in a book like this. Yes you’re trying to shock people into conversation, but you also want them to be able to relate – you don’t want shock to be the only emotion, and you’ve done this with aplomb.

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