A Perfect Finish Casting
APF Casting
The color coding for referring links used throughout the website are defined on the author’s APF Index Page.
. . . if every character were played by a star actor:
Steve = Nicolas Cage starring in The Weather Man as shown in The Weather Man trailer
Meriwa = Nazanin Boniadi starring in Shirin in Love as shown in the Shirin in Love trailer
Alamea = Penelope Cruz starring in Captain Corelli’s Mandolin as shown in the Captain Corelli’s Mandolin trailer
Clyde = Robert Downey Jr starring in Wonder Boys as shown in The Wonder Boys trailer
Ron = Brad Pitt starring in Legends of the Fall as shown in the Legends of the Fall trailer
John = David Harewood starring in Free in Deed as shown in the Free in Deed trailer
Angi = Taapsee Pannu starring in Soorma as shown in the Soorma trailer
Akiko = Li Bingbing starring in The Message (except much older) as shown in The Message trailer
Eddie = Corbin Bleu Reivers starring in the series The Real Dirty Dancing as shown in Winning the Real Dirty Dancing interview
Simon = Danny Trejo starring in Heat as shown in the Heat trailer (but needs an even bigger scar)
Daisy = Angela Lansbury starring in the series Murder She Wrote as shown in the Murder She Wrote trailer
Jessie = Rachel DiPillo starring in Chicago Med shown in the Chicago Med Behind the Scenes Interview
June = Jane Fonda starring in Monster in Law as shown in the Monster in Law trailer
Emily = Rosamund Pike starring in Jack Reacher as shown in the Jack Reacher trailer
Rachel = Abigail Breslin starring in My Sister’s Keeper as shown in the My Sister’s Keeper trailer
Michael = Mace Coronel starring in That 90s Show as shown in That 90’s Show trailer
SPOILER ALERT
The following comments by beta readers and editors include information revealed throughout the book. Unless you are one of those readers who read the endings first, you might want to read the book before browsing their comments.
Here are some character descriptions by a Fiverr beta reader in the order she chose to present them:
Grace @user19114815
Steve Hamilton
He is our troubled main character, a teacher who enjoys riding motorcycles and fishing. He has one of the biggest reasons to want the APF project to be fulfilled. Steve’s wife (Emily) died of cancer, but chose her own timing. Michael and Rachel are his step-kids, so he has no choice but to let it happen when their father eventually demands he stop contacting them. He eventually faces legal troubles related to his assistance in Emily’s death, and has to give up the house where Emily’s ashes were spread (and her rose garden) to prevent further legal action from her ex-husband. But that’s not even the main plot here!
When our story starts, he’s on the road, headed to go see Rachel. He crashes in a frost heave, then tries to warn another couple coming through. Rather than slowing down, the man driving speeds up, and they crash. Alamea is gravely injured, but her husband Mark is immediately dead. There are many times later on where Steve mentions the butterfly effect, and how one small action can change everything. He was never supposed to be involved in any of this, and yet, through a few changed events he became the center of a large company (one which was the first of its kind). It’s kind of funny when you consider this line, “Gun, money, jewelry–he was tempted to leave the entire mess and just ride away.” How different a story it would be if he had just left it all right there, or if Steve’s trip had been just a little differently timed. He didn’t have to stay involved either, but he felt obligated due to the promise he made to Alamea on her death bed.
One line that I thought thoroughly described him as a character was, “Now, as he journeyed through a particularly transitional patch, Steve portrayed a persistent sense of happiness interrupted.” He had been happy, and at the point where we meet him in the story, he isn’t really happy anymore. It only goes downhill from there (although his financial prospects get much better). His emotional turmoil comes to a head when he accompanies Akiko on her end of life journey, and as he’s tripping on tea, he sees Emily and thinks he needs to join her. It is only Akiko’s strict instruction that it is not his time that keeps Steve in his seat. In the epilogue, we see his character arc fully develop away from that ideation, as he is happy getting to spend time with his family, getting back into dating, and back to work. Steve is living life, and he is happy doing it. I also appreciated some of his witty banter like, “I’m hiding, thanks for asking. How can I help you?”
Alamea
Alamea is characterized by how much she cared about her business plan, to try and ensure its success even after her death. She also had many family members and close friends who were like family that she wanted to provide closure to. It was a compelling moment when she said, “Steve, if you leave my things behind, they will be lost. Promise me you’ll take them with you.” Later we discover that Meriwa, who she left her watch to, was actually her lover. The two were deeply in love, but held other flings for years. Meriwa said that they had plans for Alamea to move in after her husband’s death, if not for the accident. It’s a tragic love story, ended too soon. They should have taken the chance to be together while they had it.
When other characters talk about Alamea, they often speak of her with reverence and respect, “Poise. Presence. Style. Hers was an incredibly brave death.” Everyone has their own memories of the woman, their own connection, but they all have this inheld belief in her. Whether that is because everyone loves a martyr, or because she really was such a wonderful person, is up for the reader to judge (I think Alamea was a person who had good intentions, personally).
Akiko
From the moment we are introduced to Akiko, she is a bold and brash woman who seems to have no care for how she is perceived. We are told that she was married to Clyde’s father for “about ten minutes” and later find out that she is well known for being unable to be friends with married women (or she would go after their husbands). She says what she pleases, and as such is a font of wisdom for Steve. Characters are often exasperated by her, at one point being described, “How can a woman this small and this old be this rapacious?” Another point of annoyance is her son, Eddie, whom Clyde is quick to say is not related to him (even though Eddie calls him ‘brother’).
Steve, however, thinks that she is a lot like his grandmother, “Although Akiko’s rant about trash was different, her inclination to bless a total stranger with insightfully tailored insults and hostile vulgarities was eerily familiar.” He forms a sort of friendship with her, and they share news together (or rather, Akiko informs Steve of everything he’s missed) from time to time. She’s not afraid to be vulgar and inappropriate, as we see here, in their last meeting before her assisted death, “Akiko hugged him back . . . and squeezed his ass.”
I did enjoy how much she really tore into him in this whole section, but this one was especially good, “So, if you bought Eddie’s line about taking care of his dear old mother, you are a total backspace.” She has quite a few funny nicknames for him (Captain Kirk, Chewey, Han Solo, Space Jam, etc.) and he isn’t a big fan of any of them, but ‘backspace’ is a new one. It is a bit deserved though, since Akiko tends to be the first one to tell Steve about emergency events which he should already be aware of. I thought this line was funny, where she is making fun of him yet again, “Where do you keep your Etch-A-Sketch?” It’s such a snarky way to infantilize someone without directly saying, “You are a child” or “You are so naïve/dumb/etc.”
Eddie
At first I thought Eddie was a comic relief character, someone to dismiss for a joke. He seemed like your stereotypical hippie/stoner character who was there for fun. Then he became more important to the plot. Are we meant to believe the Colonel killed him first, before trying to attack Harold? Or did someone else take him? I thought this line was funny, even if it was sad, “Eddie would never abandon mushrooms, and he would never leave without saying goodbye to me. That means somebody took him.”
Clyde
He is Alamea’s godfather, and remains a constant helpful presence throughout the book. He’s constantly advising Steve, listening to his complaints, and the two spend a lot of time together over the course of these events. He is likeable, but their interactions never go too deep or intimately. They are all friends though, everyone is simply very busy and a lot of interactions take place via phone call.
John
He is the attorney who keeps everyone afloat, to Steve’s utter disdain, “Imagine becoming an attorney–investing one’s entire life in the pursuit of dissecting rat shit, so you could dictate what’s what to mere humans.” The two do get along well, it’s the profession itself that Steve seems to have such a pessimistic view of. John is also Clyde’s husband, and he makes jokes often about how much he would get paid if chores were billable time. His sense of humor is dry and witty, and I enjoyed a lot of the scenes that he was in.
Meriwa
Meriwa is the niece of the Chief of Police, and this was very important in allowing most of the plot to happen without Steve being arrested. Despite her grief over the loss of her love (Alamea), Meriwa has big plans for the First People of Yukon. She changes things in the plans to benefit the FunBite project she came up with to help her community. Meriwa is a beautiful woman who is confident, and not afraid to take charge. We see this when she flirts and banters with Steve, “Why do you watch me like that, as though I am the most beautiful girl in the world?” The pair often have funny and sexually charged conversations, making a bit of a ‘will-they-won’t-they’ situation. In the end, Meriwa stays with Ron, and Steve learns to move on after the death of his wife without her help. (Perhaps it’s for the best, she is a biter after all!): “She smiled then went up on her toes, as if to kiss his cheek, but instead she bit him hard on the left jaw.”
One thing that might be helpful is a small family tree showing all of Meriwa’s relatives (and whether they are Crow or Wolf). I think I was able to keep up with who everyone is, but it could be helpful to some readers to have a visual.
Here are descriptions of Steve and Meriwa as per a kick-ass Fiverr editor, Kaitlin. I chose her descriptions because we seem to have connected best with her in terms of how I wanted to present these two characters:
Kaitlin @ksclafani
I’m going to dive into Steve and Meriwa, as your two main characters:
As your protagonist, Steve is a gem. His connection to the earth and to the cosmos is something I truly relate to and adored – he is someone whose head is in the clouds, but he’s grounded. A walking paradox, but it works. I would be remiss if I didn’t applaud your choice to make him an unconditionally loving stepfather. It showed how much love he has to give, which spilled over to his decision to honor Alamea’s wishes, despite her being a complete stranger. Sure, he often made choices or had opinions that frustrated me, and sure sometimes I wanted to shake him for being thick headed and missing clear clues to what’s going on around him, but through it all I was truly rooting for him every step of the way. I mention it in my first impressions, but I really did want him to have more opportunities to win – even little victories, like standing up to Harold as he walked all over him, would have been really nice to see. But life also doesn’t work like that, and in the end I genuinely believe Steve ended up better than he started, despite how often it seemed like it wouldn’t be the case for our dear friend.
One thing I want to mention for consideration: you describe Steve as grief-stricken, and while I see the glimpses of his grief in the way he speaks to Emily at the river, or the way he plays with his wedding band, I don’t know if the struggle he is having with her death comes across often enough. It doesn’t have to be overt, either – it can be small things, small observations, the tiniest moments where he is reminded of her and feels the pang of her absence, and how it gets easier over time as he deals with the “death business” and learns to heal alongside Meriwa. On the flip side, I think you did an excellent job of showing Meriwa’s grieving process and how she is coping with the loss of Alamea. It’s apparent in the way she speaks about her, in the way she gradually opens up to Steve about her experience with Alamea, and in the way she makes a point to always wear the items from her lost loved ones.
I may be biased, but thank you for writing strong women! Especially Meriwa, who has this world wrapped around her well-manicured finger and knows it – while still being intoxicating to be around. She’s ambitious, she’s wicked intelligent, and she is going to change her corner of the world. As far as the cosmos goes, she may only be contributing to a flash of time, but she is implementing change that can have lasting consequences that benefit her society beyond her time on the earth – something that is an ongoing theme for your story. While the rest of the cast involved in APF (apart from those directly tied to Alamea) are, ultimately, in it for the money and the success of their own businesses, that money is fleeting. Meriwa is using the company to instill real change for her people. She is a leader. I meant it every time I highlighted something she said and praised her as a queen!
Here are the characters and relationships described by a Fiverr beta reader:
Amber L @amberlilyreadin
Description of Characters and Relationships
Steve
Steve was my absolute favorite character for several reasons. He was a kind and calm man, but greatly suffered on the inside. But even after losing his wife, house, and step-children (which he thankfully got back), he kept it together. This alone impressed me, because many people would lose their minds with just one of those things occurring. He found beauty in nature, and did not care for material possessions.
I often found my own decision making to be in line with Steve’s. I felt like he did exactly what I would have done in many situations, especially the beginning with the accident. He cared about protecting Alamea instead of obeying the law. Sometimes laws need to be broken.
He also asked a lot of good moral questions while APF was being built. Everyone else seemed to look at APF from a business standpoint.
Overall, I truly admired Steve. This entire book was his journey of healing, and it was absolutely beautiful.
Meriwa
A goddess in human form. Beautiful, smart, and strong. She is a great example of what a lot of women wish they could be. The embodiment of female empowerment. I love that she had absolutely no shame about her relationship with Alamea. Out of everyone, I think she was the hardest working person.
Similar to Steve, she was hurting a lot too on the inside. It seemed like she buried herself in work in hopes of making those feelings going away. That’s why Steve and Meriwa bonded so well.
Steve and Meriwa
Their relationship was a little confusing for a while, but I think that was the point. Steve was confused too. They played their flirtatious games and enjoyed spending time together. However, I think they just needed each other. Not in a romantic way, but for the sake of healing.
Steve was mourning his wife. Meriwa was mourning Alamea. They got close because of that similarity. I liked how they had nicknames for each other. Angel and Devil being my favorite.
She helped Steve move on romantically from his late wife. While they never got together, it was like their interactions were practice for him. I recall her asking about his wedding ring when they first met, and the awkward conversation they had because of it. At the end, his ring is off, because he wants to avoid that sort of awkwardness again.
Alamea
While I didn’t get to see much of Alamea alive, I learned a lot about her after she died. She was loved by a lot of people, and approached life in a logical sort of way. I’ve heard its difficult for people in the medical industry to hold relationships because of their long working hours. So I was not surprised to learn that she and Mark married for convenience.
But she had a big heart too. Only someone with a big heart would think of something like APF. I could see how her experiences with death and suicide in the family would lead her to such a plan.
Meriwa and Alamea
What happens when two powerful women love each other? They make something like APF happen. They seemed to get along so well because they were both career focused, but also wanted to experience real love. While I only got to hear about them together in stories, I loved hearing Meriwa talk about her. She was always honorable and spoke about Alamea with love in her words.
Ron – Ron and Meriwa and Steve
This man was indeed, a cardboard cut-out. I completely agreed with Steve’s assessment on that. He was nice, but there wasn’t anything extraordinary about him either. He was just an average guy, and that’s okay. Meriwa and Ron were introduced as a solution to Meriwa’s lineage issue. She loved Alamea, but felt pressure from her parents to continue the line. Who better than someone related to Alamea?
I’m not sure if Ron knows that Meriwa and Alamea were a thing. I think Meriwa was just feeling him out as a potential mating partner. Maybe they’ll stay together, maybe they won’t. I know in the end, Meriwa will make the decision she feels is best. Meanwhile, Steve respectfully kept his distance despite his feelings for Meriwa.
Akiko – Akiko and Steve
Yikes, this lady was something else. I don’t think I could work with her, but I give Steve a lot of credit for handling it. Akiko was rough and outspoken, but she meant well. She’s just one of those people that will literally say what they mean without a sugarcoating. I loved her first conversation with Steve over the phone. They had just met and she’s blasting him with environmental information.
Saving the earth was her drive. While she didn’t feel like she made a dent, I believe she made a larger difference than most other people try to do. I admired her for that. She was consistent and never gave up.
I was a bit annoyed with how she would talk to Steve at first. I thought she was unprofessional. But then I noticed that was just her passion coming out. After that, I found myself chuckling at their conversations. Her death felt well placed and I was glad she went peacefully.
Eddie
Oh my god. I wanted to strangle this guy. I felt so bad for Steve when he had to drive him all the way to Whitehorse. He was the most annoying cast member, and I feel like that was your goal, haha. I was surprised, and yet, not surprised when I learned he was giving everyone herpes. No one really appeared upset to see him go.
Eddie is a good example of a person who is an absolute waste of space. Which feels mean to say, but it reinforces that he was wasting the earth’s resources without giving anything in return.
Angi
The cyber marketing expert. She was impressive because her confidence never wavered. It was clear she always knew what she was doing, as if she had done it a million times before. If APF did not have her, they wouldn’t have achieved such a high level of reach. She needed a lot of funding early on which worried me, but clearly it paid off.
Simon
I loved Simon’s conversation with Steve over the river as they tossed leaves into the water. There was a lot of symbolism to be found in that conversation. The death of an individual is such a small thing within the scale of the universe. But when it’s someone we know, its our whole world. Simon was trying to make the death of his partner feel small, but it clearly hurt him greatly. He knew Steve was experiencing the same sort of loss. This conversation helped them both. Sometimes it is a comfort to know someone else has the same sort of misery. I’m glad Simon kept his life. He was a philosophical intellectual.
John and Clyde
My favorite couple! I didn’t like John at first but I softened to him later on when I saw that he does have a heart under that hard attorney shell. Clyde was his perfect opposite, a goofball ray of sunshine. Their interactions together were so cute, I was always happy to see them.
They were both extremely helpful to Steve. John with his legal help, and Clyde with his business smarts. Together, they got him out of A LOT of trouble.
Harold
I could not stand this guy! Just an all-around asshole. The only time he was nice was after Steve saved his life. I knew it would be a nightmare to do business with him, and it absolutely was. I couldn’t believe he wanted to charge $500,000 per body recovery! Harold was a good example of someone who just wanted to monopolize their portion of the death business.
That being said, every novel needs someone to hate. Between him and Eddie, you got that covered.
The following is extracted from a not quite so glowing reader report:
Julia S @juliaspano207
Characters
Steve
Steve is a solid choice for a protagonist, if a somewhat detached one. I think that his intro with Alamea tells us a lot about him in a short space of time—he’s willing to listen to others and help them out on their terms, and he’s a little naïve sometimes about what’s really going on below the surface. I like that he’s struggling with his own feelings about love and death as the story progresses. There’s a kind of what-am-I-living for vibe that collects around him as he slowly loses a lot of the things he felt he needed—his wife’s rose garden, his kids, his ability to teach in Denver, and finally his new home in Whitehorse. I think him overcoming that in Akiko’s final moments was a great and unexpected turn for the story—he comes to accept that it’s not his time yet, that this is just another dark chapter in his life. (For extra drama, a suggestion—maybe he follows Akiko down in a parachute, so he can experience what the others felt more in-detail. Only thing is someone would have to rescue him, and, well… that might not be possible.)
It’s a little odd, for example, that we’re told that he has constant second thoughts about this whole death business, but he gets super-excited over Angi’s website and seems weirdly over-invested in Alamea’s business. The contradiction could be explained more by emphasizing the “dying wishes” connection—perhaps he thinks it’s more important her dreams be realized than that he’s personally uncomfortable. (That could mean he potentially gets very angry when Akiko informs him that these aren’t really Alamea’s wishes.) I feel like more could be done with his detachment from the death business. We see various characters telling him he’s not keeping a close enough eye on Harold and Eddie, but we don’t really dive into why that’s the case—is he being blocked physically by the other’s lying, or is there a part of him that really doesn’t want to be there?
Meriwa
Meriwa is definitely the heart of the story, as far as its general “arc” goes. She’s the character with the most agency and the most connection to the story, which makes her eternally tense relationship with Steve so interesting. The gradual reveal that she was Alamea’s “true love”, so to speak, was very sweet and quietly tragic; in a way, Meriwa’s the only person who really cared about Alamea without strings attached, without constantly wanting money from her. And I think that her ambition makes her a very complex character. If anything, I’d love to dive more into that. We know Meriwa does have a heart, and wants Alamea’s mission to succeed, but I’d love to see more focus on what she sacrificed to get there—marrying Ron despite not really seeming super-interested in him for appearances; how she feels about the clients who might not have passed ethically; her ability to be wholly honest with Steve even if she cares about him. Showing, even in glimpses, the cracks in her cool façade might be an interesting direction to take her character in.
Other
Simon: He feels a little over the top to me (the whole “Simon Says” game is weirdly corny), but I still come to like him after a while. The subplot between him and Akiko kind of falls flat, as it’s just not mentioned at all after a while.
Clyde: I liked Clyde a lot, as he seemed to have genuine affection for Steve and was his biggest “contact” in this world, but I also think his sharkish side and willingness to lie gives his character a good edge and purpose. I suppose we didn’t need to see more of him, but I feel like he was kind of drowned out towards the end. (Also, was there implication that he was gay? It’s kind of nice that it’s just referenced off-hand, but it’s a little weird how it’s just mentioned once and never again.)
Akiko: I hate and have affection for Akiko. She’s kind of a cross between hero and villain, or perhaps we only see her as such because she’s so honest about what her business associates are really doing behind the scenes. Her death is, of course, pretty solid; I like that she really takes Steve along to witness her end rather than forcing him along with her. If anything, I’d want to see more of her care for Eddie in the background. There’s implication she’s a little bitter that he just doesn’t seem to care about her, which I think could be played with more.
Rachel + Michael: They were a good driving force for our characters, but I didn’t really get why they were separated from each other so much? They’re both from the same mother, so it just felt kind of weird. It’s also odd that Rachel gets so much more focus than Michael, almost as if she’s the favorite or something.
Eddie: It’s kind of impressive how Eddie kept revealing more depths to his scumbaggery as the story progressed. Don’t get me wrong, it’s cool that he becomes the villain of the piece. But I feel like his ending’s somewhat unsatisfying. He just gets whacked offscreen with no real follow-up? It feels unsatisfying. At least make his final scene feel more conclusive.
Harold: An awful, awful person, closest thing the book has to a villain. Sometimes he wasn’t fun to read about, but we did need him to ground the story in stakes and show why Steve wasn’t quite fit out to be a permanent fixture as CEO anywhere. It works.
Setting
Whitehorse is beautifully captured in this story. Every little bar and tavern (The Burnt Toast, the 98, the Sheep Camp Lounge) has a unique identity that’s well-captured in the ambiance of your story. And I love how the Yukon River is its own character in the city—it symbolizes Steve’s own desire to go and join his beloved Emily, which is heartbreaking and a lovely use of place. Sometimes the characters moved around so much between Seattle, Vancouver, Whitehorse, etc. that I couldn’t quite keep track of them, so clear that up. And one more thing—that map of Whitehorse would be perfect.
Pacing + Flow
I was sometimes a little dragged down by the slow pacing of your story, but I think you managed to justify it by the end—it’s a slow, gradual unraveling of the true complexities about what people really want in death, and for that you need to gradually expose people’s motives and Alamea’s true desires over the course of a sizable page count. The strongest moments were collected at the beginning and end—Steve’s first encounter with Alamea is gloriously paced with the slowness and suspense we really needed for it, and the plane ride with Akiko is also given proper emphasis. However, towards the middle when all the business dealings were going on, the pacing got a bit uneven. We get paragraphs upon paragraphs about all the inner business workings of APF, but Steve shooting a guy only gets a few paragraphs? I get that in-story it happens quickly, but it feels too nonchalant as-written, as if it happens too fast for us to absorb the gravity of the moment. And, in general, the transitions between scenes could flow better. Often there are large time jumps without clear delineations, and it makes it a little difficult to follow the text sometimes. I’ve marked several of these in the beta copy.
Tone + Voice
The tone is kept pretty light for a book about death. Given the somewhat cynical values of many of the characters, I think this was the right choice; it helps keep the book from getting too serious, and it keeps the conversations between characters feeling light and fresh. The serious moments still manage to stick out pretty well most of the time—when Meriwa’s telling Steve about her past with Alamea or Steve’s at a mental crossroads, the story is at its best. When it comes to voice, sometimes the characters can sound a little too similar to each other. The dialogue is very Sorkin-esque; even if certain characters have a touch of uniqueness to their voices (Akiko is meaner and uses nicknames; Eddie’s a surfer bro; Clyde is more laid-back), the fact that they all use sarcasm in the same way and all are making quips constantly makes them feel too similar. Change up how different character’s senses of humor come through.
Themes
Throughout the story, we see constant references to death, beyond the obvious of Steve and Meriwa’s grief—the name of a shop being “Bullet Hole Bagels”, the suicides and suspicious deaths of many characters on and offscreen, the worry Steve feels about dying on his motorcycle. I think this strong theme was well-suited for the story. We see characters react in different ways—Meriwa is ready to sacrifice everything to keep her lover’s dream alive, while others are more ready to profit off of it, and Steve is downright aimless. It’s interesting contrasting how the character’s readiness to help others die due to grief contrasts with their own constant desire to keep living, and how Steve kind of sees through that. And I appreciate that the story manages to convey a good message—a perfect finish can mean different things for everyone, and sometimes, it may be better to move on than chase a flawless finale.
Honestly, though, I can’t help but feel a little icky at the end. I feel like this story’s ending, and the minimization of Steve’s personal discomfort, make it feel incomplete. With the happy ending and Meriwa’s shining success portrayed as an absolute positive (and don’t get me wrong, it is a positive), I feel like the actual, potentially-non-consensual deaths of the old women in the second year at Harold and Eddie’s hands are glossed over. In general, I feel like having more interludes from the clients themselves as the “mission” of the place is described would be far more interesting. And if we want to keep Meriwa and Clyde sympathetic, they should definitely apologize to Steve for having him work with those guys, and take some accountability, at least in private, for the harm they caused others.
The following represents only the most glowing remarks extracted from a reader report:
Stephanie F @missfrancis
Opening
Impact of the first few lines/opening scene:
The opening grabbed my attention immediately, being such an intriguing and sensitive topic as assisted dying. Not only that, but it is bang on trend as technological advances make this feel a lot more realistic than it may have done twenty years ago. The tone and argument was compelling and incredibly persuasive. The format of this proposal was brilliant too, as it helped to clearly outline the setting, process, and bodies involved in a general sense, giving a clear wide lens view of the situation. This perfectly prepared the reader for potentially more difficult and intimate tale and effectively piqued my interest.
I liked how curious and uncomfortable this opening made me feel and it made me want to read on to learn more both about this idea and the potential ways this could go in the real world, and the story itself.
Hooks in the opening:
- I was very interested to find out how this proposal would go.
- I wondered why women were the only target audience and felt that there was a great number of compelling ways that this could be framed.
Plot and Pace
Interest and emotional impact of plot:
This story was an incredibly enriching one, where I was educated, challenged and stretched, whilst moved emotionally. Assisted death is a polarising issue, and I feel that it was very well handled here, with frankness, balance, and some humour too. This story presented the issues in a way that was thorough but not to heavy.
The motivations of characters were made clear all of the way through. I spent a lot of time feeling sorry for Steve, because it felt like he gained very little out of the trip financially while everyone around him took advantage of him.
However, the narrative explored grief and all of its complexities in a raw and relatable way. I appreciated that the story took place over a fairly long period of time, as it helped to convey how long the initial phases of grief linger. The story makes the reader think about how ending and saying goodbye and making a choice is received on personal and a wider social level. I left the book with a much more well-rounded view of death and grief. I found the connection to climate change fascinating.
The following represent only the most glowing remarks extracted from a reader report:
Richard @odeyrichardodey
OVERVIEW
A Perfect Finish is a gripping upmarket fiction story about the adventures of the main character, Steve, who is struggling to balance his desire to help those who want to die with dignity, his love for his deceased wife, the promise of money, and the temptation of a new woman.
APF opened with a well-written prologue and an attention-grabbing chapter one, which made me want to read the rest of the story. The story was engaging, which sustained my active interest from the beginning of the narrative to the end. The story has captivating characters like Steve, John, Akiko, Meriwa, and even Harold, who has an interesting character change in the end. I also loved the thread of unflagging humor that ran through the story. APF held my attention throughout; there was no boring passage in it. So, this is one of the few books among the 377 that I have beta-read on Fiverr that maintained such a level of engagement. Well done.
POTENTIALLY OFFENSIVE CONTENT
This story is for mature audiences and contains references to death, suicide, mangled bodies, and strong language. If I had any complaints about it, I would have mentioned it. However, I think it is advisable to have a representative book cover and description so that potential readers would know what they are getting into. However, readers who love a particular genre know what to expect.
ENTERTAINMENT FACTOR: 100/100!
A sign I may have gone too far? The following was the opening lines from a reader report:
Anne B @andronia001
FIRST THOUGHTS
Well now, what a strange kind of journey that was. I can honestly say that I have never read anything quite like it and in the end I wasn’t quite sure whether to laugh or give you a good clip on the back of the head!
Another fan of Meriwa, as extracted from a reader report:
Paula E @paulaesmo
Favorite character: Definitely Meriwa.
Since the first time we read about Meriwa one thing was clear: she has a strong presence. And the more I got to know her, the more I realized she could really be one of my favorite characters. Personally, I have always liked a lot of female characters with strong and cold personalities, and Meriwa gave me that. But what made me choose her was how conscious she was about other people (p. 196: “…My mother’s edict has two parts: 1) you will not come without committing less than one million dollars; and 2) you will compensate employees and suppliers in a manner that leaves such employees and suppliers richer, not poorer, for the experience”), how powerful she was with people (p. 205: How can Meriwa so naturally control the room? Jupiter’s mass is more than two and a half times the combined mass of the other planets. Meriwa weighs a mere 120 pounds, yet she conveys the force of Jupiter), and how she was always focusing on the next step.
Here is a beta reader who liked some aspects of the manuscript but felt the opposite about Meriwa, as extracted from a reader report:
Lynda D @winterlady20
Concerning the main protagonist, Steve, I loved him and hated him. I felt him to be a bit wimpy about decision making and wanted him to get some guts. At the end I was on the fence with him. Not sure if any one stood out on their own as much as Akiko, she was a very snarky, wild , bitchy woman and you really wrote her perfect. Meriwa was my least favorite, she just irked me, a few times I almost liked her, but not a lot. However, in saying this, You are an amazing character writer and this is why your readers can delve into the personalities and make their own decisions about them.
Your descriptive language is incredibly pronounced when you are describing the visual scenes, and some of them took my breath away and made me right in that scene. One of my favorite examples of this is this scene:
The tree was a lone white pine, mature and stately, scarred along the back side. It stood alone with the most remarkable view of just a piece of the city below, like one was peering through a small window framed by this white pine.
If you’ve read the book and took a strong view about Akiko, then you might agree that Akiko is polarizing.
Go back to: About a Perfect Finish